Making Memes: Staying Connected To My Son While Away On Business Travel

Little things mean a lot. Here’s a small silly thing I did to stay connected with my son while away on business travel.

meme2

Making memes is a silly little thing Nick and I do together, so I made him some memes while I was away on business

Last week, Jason Swann wrote a guest post here with some great advice about staying connected with your kids while traveling for work. (see here for his fun blog)

After describing the rhythms of his household before and during his travel, Jason provided some great advice:

The point is, dads, we are missed. A lot. A WHOLE lot. I read on a post recently that a dad has four girls that make him feel like a member of the Beatles when he gets home. We’re all rock stars to our children, and we can take care of our “fans” by taking a bit of care with how we leave them for our work trips. It will pay dividends in the end to pay attention to how we deal with being gone, as our little ones are dealing with us being gone.So I’ve looked around the web, read, asked, cajoled, and uncovered to find what we can do when we have to be away. The list is organic, so use or don’t, add to or take away.

  1. Don’t over do it, or under do it on the explanation. They need to know that you’ll be gone, but don’t freak them out about it.
  2. Leave some notes, in the open and hidden where they’ll find them later. I’ve done this with The Wife and my Wee ones and they LOVE it. (note: when Nick was 4, I went on a 2-week business trip. Before leaving, I bought 14 little toys at the dollar bin at the local toy store and had my wife hide one each day for Nick’s “daddy toy” It went over great!- SB)
  3. Use the technology you have. Skype, FaceTime, MMS pics, text, and so on. I was at training for two weeks and created a blog, just to upload videos I made for the home team. You can get to the mini bar later.
  4. Ask for a project to be done when you return. A drawing, craft piece, marble statue, or whatever. They’ll put their all into it, just waiting for you to go nuts over it when you get back.
  5. For heaven’s sake, don’t forget to bring them something home. We all remember wanting that small token that said we were missed. It can be small and cheap. Just don’t forget it.

Today, I’d like to share with you how I used his advice (items #2 and #3) when I traveled to Baltimore for 3 days last week for a conference (I also bought a funny fridge magnet- item #5)

A few weeks ago, Nick downloaded a fun (and free!) iPad app called Memematic, in which you can turn your pictures into memes by adding captions. Our family has been making silly memes together for the past few weeks. Here’s a sampling of our incredibly silly memes:

meme5

meme4

So, before I headed out to the “Charm City” for 3 days, I made three memes, and I had my wife show one to Nick each day. It was a big hit! and was the topic for our very happy nightly phone calls.  My three memes were:

this is a riff on an earlier meme we made together. I know. Corny as all-get-out

Day 1- This is a riff on an earlier meme we made together. I know. Corny as all-get-out

Day 2

Day 2

Day 3!

Day 3!

I know. Really corny and silly.

But it worked. Nick felt my presence during the three days I was away, and knew I was thinking of him. And all it took was 3 minutes the day before I left. That’s all any dad can ask for. Even better than a LOLcat!

What do you do when you travel to stay connected to your kids/families? Let’s share and discuss in the comments section.

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Huggies Have “Come A Long Way, Baby” in Depicting Fathers

In one year, Huggies’ advertising went from depicting dads as incompetent boobs to depicting them as capable involved parents. Here’s a brief analysis of how and why they made the change.

What a difference a year makes!

That was then:

ABC News' coverage of Huggies March 2012 ads that depicted dads as "hapless and hopeless in caring for their babies"

ABC News’ coverage of Huggies’ March 2012 ads that depicted dads as “hapless and hopeless in caring for their babies” (click on the picture to watch the piece)

Way back in the Stone Age of March 2012, Huggies ran some ads to show that their diapers could stand up to the “toughest test”- incompetent bumbling dads who don’t know the first thing about caring for kids or changing diapers- after all, they are too busy watching sports and being dumb to be competent. They also built a facebook campaign around getting women to test out Huggies with their incompetent husbands for 5 days and share their stories.

Read the full post »

Happy Mothers Day!!!! (The Collective Mother’s Day Card from Dad Bloggers)

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother” – Theodore Hesburgh

This quote gave me the idea for a collective Mother’s day card from a great group of Dad Bloggers , of which I am proud to be a part, to the moms in our lives. So here are our collected mother’s day wishes:

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful wife, Amy!!!

Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful wife, Amy!!!

Scott Behson. Fathers, Work and Family blog. www.fathersworkandfamily.com

You know how revved up Nick gets on nights you come home late and he gets out of bed, hides/jumps out to surprise you, runs around like a loony, and can’t get enough of cuddling and laughing with you? I feel that way too.

Happy Mother’s Day to the best wife and mom I could imagine. You have given me the gifts of true love, the amazing life we’re building together, and of fatherhood. I can never repay what you have given me. But I’ll spend every day trying.

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Sharing Experiences: Staying Connected with Your Kids When Traveling for Work

Traveling for work is often a necessary evil for busy working dads. Here’s one dad’s experience and advice for staying connected with family while on business trips.

Guest blogger, Jason Swann with his kids

Guest blogger Jason Swann with his kids

Staying Connected When Traveling for Work

A Guest Post by Jason Swann, who blogs as The Cheeky Daddy

It begins with dinner, moves to bath and jammy time, eases into books and stories, then ends with hugs and kisses. Simple, yes?

NO!

I’ve seen cowboys break a mustang before and THAT looked easier than building our homestead customs. People, our children have let us know that they need routine, stability, and for heaven’s sake, DON’T forget that story! It runs like clockwork and I say again, one tilt in the balance of our family ecosystem and we’re either up throughout the night with little ones, or it all ends in tears.

So when I announce that there’s a trip of any significant length coming up, the groans begin. First, The Wife expresses her reservations, then her fears, then her acceptance. Once the kids get wind of it, there’s even more complaint, but in the form of a sweet siren’s song of “daddy, don’t go.” Heart strings are pulled, emotions run high, and I begin to wonder if I might be able to support my family as a man of leisure. You know, a man’s man, or man about town. No? Bah,…worth a try. It still begs the question: How does our family get by when daddy has to travel?

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Yahoo!, Marissa Mayer, Paternity Leave and a Step Forward

Marissa Mayer announced a progressive paternity leave policy at Yahoo! Especially considering recent Yahoo! decisions, these policies represent an important step forward for working dads everywhere.

Yahoo's paternity leave policy is a step forward (and somewhat makes up for Mayer's earlier telework decision)

Yahoo’s paternity leave policy is a step forward (and somewhat makes up for Mayer’s earlier telework decision)

Fair or not, when Yahoo! hired Marissa Mayer as their CEO, Mayer had to know that her status as a thirty-something first-of-her-generation new mother female CEO would attract a lot of attention, and that many would look past her impressive qualifications (degrees from Stanford, a staggeringly productive career and rise up the ranks at Google), and focus instead on the symbolic nature of her position- especially when it came to work and family considerations.

The early returns on that front, well let’s just say, were not so good.

The first visible management decision Mayer made was to ban telecommuting at Yahoo! (while building a nursery in her executive suite). At the time, I called the move overly blunt, on the wrong side of history, short-sighted, and unsupported by research- in short, a step backwards.

Upon reflection, I ultimately found the ban as unnecessary and largely beside the point- all downside and no upside. Less than 2% of Yahoo employees worked primarily from home, and while the ban targeted them, the many other productive Yahoo! employees who relied on part-time and ad-hoc telecommuting for work-life balance were equally punished. Worse, the whole flap may have resulted in a chilling effect on workplace flexibility beyond Yahoo’s offices.

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Fathers, Work and Family Spring Cleaning: My Non-Work-Family Writing

It is a BEAUTIFUL Spring day here in New York, a perfect day for Spring cleaning! Please indulge me as I air out some of my non work-family related writing for you this weekend.

I'm not just a work-family writer. Good Men Project has given me the opportunity to branch out

I’m no longer just a work-family writer. Good Men Project has given me the opportunity to branch out

One of the things I am very grateful for is the chance that the great online men’s magazine Good Men Project took on this humble unproven blogger. They have given me a forum to write about work-family issues to a wider audience, but have also pushed me to stretch my writing muscles and write on a few other topics- LOVE, HUMOR, and SPORTS.

I’d like to share some of these with you today. So with gratitude to editors Justin Cascio, Robert Duffer, Gint Aras (check out his excellent novel), Liam Day and publisher Lisa Hickey (read her incredible first-hand account of the Boston Marathon bombings, shrapnel and all), here are a few pieces.

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My Interview with “Daddy Blogger” on Work-Family Balance for Dads

Ricky Shetty of Daddy Blogger recently interviewed me for his blog and youtube channel.

The interview is about 17 minutes long, and we cover a range of topics:

  • General advice for dads
  • The different joys and challenges kids of different ages present for dads
  • Advice for new, first-time and expectant dads
  • Enjoying your kids
  • Light-saber battles
  • Building networks with other local dads (see related article here for more)
  • Juggling work and family
  • Dual-career couples (see here)
  • Negotiating for flexibility at work (see here)
  • Setting priorities about time and money (see here)
  • Protecting family time from encroachment by work demands/emails, etc. (see here)
  • The challenges faced by modern, highly involved working dads (see here)
  • How everyone (dads, kids, moms, society) benefits from involved dads

If you have the time, please watch. If the embed above does not work, try the following link: http://youtu.be/1F0iDd71trg

Thanks! Let me know what you think about any of these topics.

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What I Want My Son to Learn About Work and Family (part 3): Family First

Our job as fathers is to equip our children to have productive, happy and meaningful lives. The best way to do so is by role-modeling the values, priorities and actions we hope they will aspire to.

At last, the finale! If you haven’t already, please read Part 1 and Part 2, which were posted last week. This article picks up where those left off.

I hope I can role-model work-family priorities for Nick as well as my father did for me

I hope I can role-model work-family priorities for Nick as well as my father did for me

Someday, and sooner than we think, my Nick (and your kids) will be making choices about their careers, marriages and families. When the time comes, I hope Nick will:

  • Choose a career that makes enough money for his life to be comfortable and so he can take care of his future family.
  • Choose a career he enjoys, finds interesting and meaningful, and through which he can make a larger contribution.
  • Understand the importance of balancing his career with that of his future life partner
  • Understand the relative importance of work and family while having a balanced set of priorities.

In the prior articles, I focused on the first three bullet points, Today, I’ll focus on the fourth.

One day, I hope Nick will be a father, and while I want him to value his own (part 1) and his spouse’s career (part 2), I really want him to know that family comes first. As in the case of the other lessons I’ve discussed, this is not a lesson that is taught effectively through words. I hope that, by seeing how I try to juggle work and family, he sees a role model for himself- just like I did when observing my father. This article is much more about my father than it is about me.

4. Work has its place, but is never more important than family

Read the full post »

What I Want My Son to Learn About Work and Family (part 2): My Wife’s Career is as Important as Mine

Our job as fathers is to equip our children to have productive, happy and meaningful lives. In my opinion, the best way to do so is by role-modeling the values, priorities and actions we hope they will aspire to.

One day, I hope Nick will get married, and I want him to value not just his own career, but also the career of his life partner. This is not a lesson that is taught effectively through words. I hope that, by seeing how supportive I am of Amy (and she is of me), he will seek out a supportive spouse and that he will value his spouse’s career as much as his own.

First off, if you haven’t already, please read Part 1, which I posted on Monday. This article picks up where that one left off.

I hope I can role-model good work-family values for my son

I hope I can role-model good work-family values for my son

Someday, and sooner than we think, my Nick (and your kids) will be making choices about their careers. And I’d rather he understand that work is not JUST a chore, and not JUST about money. Right now, he wants to be a Jedi (he’d be really good at this!), baseball player, geologist, waiter and circus performer. But when the time comes, I want him:

  • To choose a career that makes enough money for his life to be comfortable and so he can take care of his future family.
  • To choose a career he enjoys, finds interesting and meaningful, and through which he can make a larger contribution.
  • To understand the importance of balancing his career with that of his future life partner
  • To understand the relative importance of work and family and of working towards a balanced set of priorities. 

In the last article, I focused on the first two bullet points. Today, I’ll focus on the third (look for the exciting conclusion on Monday April 29th). Here’s what I hope Nick learns from me about work and family:

3. My wife’s career is as important as mine

Read the full post »

What I Want My Son to Learn About Work and Family (part 1)

What lessons about work and family should we be role-modeling for our children?

For me, I hope my son learns that work can bring fulfillment, meaning, and opportunities to help others- not just money. I also hope he learns that work-family balance means family first and that his career priorities should take his future spouse/family’s needs into account.

I hope I can role-model good work-family values for my son

I hope I can role-model good work-family values for my son

Young kids don’t fully understand why we sometimes have to be away from them and at work. They know they miss us, and they can get resentful- it’s only natural. In response, it is easy to say that we work for money- to buy them things- and that we’d rather not work and just be with them.

It’s a comforting story in the moment, but I bet it is not entirely true for most of us- and I think it actually sends a very different signal than what we should be sending.

Someday, and sooner than we think, my Nick* (and your kids) will be making choices about their careers. And I’d rather he understand that work is not JUST a chore, and not JUST about money. Right now, he wants to be a Jedi (he’d be really good at this!), baseball player, geologist, waiter and circus performer. But when the time comes, I want him:

  • To choose a career that makes enough money for his life to be comfortable and so he can take care of his future family.
  • To choose a career he enjoys, finds interesting and meaningful, and through which he can make a larger contribution.
  • To understand the importance of balancing his career with that of his future life partner (see part 2)
  • To understand the relative importance of work and family and of working towards a balanced set of priorities. 

I once heard a quote that “the best way to teach your son to be a man, is to be a good man and let him watch”.

This is why I am very mindful about sending signals to my son about the importance of both work and family. These are hard things to teach directly in words, but I try to get these lessons through by my actions and by how I talk about work when he is around. Here’s what I hope he learns from me:

1. Work is for money, and money is important.

Read the full post »

Taking A Break From Parenting Benefits Everyone (or, In Praise of “Me” Time For Dads)

X-2 hours a week of effective, involved parenting > X hours of distracted or stressed-out parenting

If we never get away, they’ll never get the chance to miss us. If we never put ourselves first, they’ll take for granted we’re always there. If we don’t put on our oxygen masks on first, we can’t help them with theirs. 

Sometimes it has to be all about you

Sometimes it has to be all about you

When you criticize guys for playing golf and fantasy football, you are bound to get some brushback. I totally understand that, even if those articles were written more as humor pieces than serious dad advice.

If you’ve been following the blog, you may have seen my articles about “Time Sucks to Avoid.” Leisure time is crucial- but IMO, golf and fantasy football are two activities that take up too much time away from work or family relative to their psychological and social benefits. I recommended that dads find other outlets that don’t take up so much valuable time.

When the anti-golf piece was reprinted at the Good Men Project online men’s magazine, I was struck by an incredibly insightful comment:

“A column I read–verified with a couple of folks in the shrink business–made a different point: If you–father/husband–are not seen as inconveniencing the rest of the family for your own fun from time to time, they will eventually accord you the respect due a booger on the floor. They’re not being mean. It’s absolutely normal and inescapable. Golf is a better way of maintaining one’s position in the family than, say rock climbing or Civil War reenacting, and doesn’t take an entire weekend plus. But the primary reasons for golf are “saw-sharpening” and inconveniencing, and if you’re lucky, annoying the family so they continue to think of you as an actual person.”- R.A.

The more I think about his comment, the more I find myself agreeing. Maybe I shouldn’t be so vigilant about avoiding time sucks. After all (to borrow Steven Covey’s phrase), if we don’t take time to sharpen our saw, we’ll wind up cutting down fewer trees.

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Oakland A’s Slugger Brandon Moss Takes Paternity Leave

The First Paternity Leave of the 2013 Major League Baseball Season- The Oakland A’s Brandon Moss

Oakland Athletics' Brandon Moss is a new dad taking paternity leave- he can also hit a little (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

Oakland Athletics’ Brandon Moss is a new dad taking paternity leave- he can also hit a little (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

It is only 72 hours, but it’s a step in the right direction. Baseball’s policy, unique among major sports, represents a formal endorsement of the concept of paternity leave.

Prior to this policy, players were often excused for a day or two by their teams- but it was totally at management’s discretion, and the team would have to play with the disadvantage of one fewer player on the roster until the new dad returned.

Now, teams can call up a player from their minor league system to replace the new dad on the roster for the 2-3 games he misses and the team cannot deny up to a 72-hour leave.

… and, of course, congratulations to Brandon Moss and his wife!

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