Advice From My Wife: An Excerpt From The Working Dad’s Survival Guide

We are officially 49 days away from the launch of The Working Dad’s Survival Guide: How to Succeed at Work and at Home! The book is on the presses as we speak, and the wheels of promotion and commerce have begun to spin. I am incredibly excited!

book cover 3Chapter 12 of the book is entitled, “Building Your Fatherhood Network.” In it, I discuss the importance of building and maintaining friendships with fellow dads. The fact is that too many dads feel alone, and it gets harder to make friends as we get older and busier. Regular informal fun time with fellow dads provides a needed social outlet and the opportunity to share advice and support. Great stuff, if I do say so myself. 😉

Not long ago, I was reading a draft of Chapter 12 to Amy, when she made the following comment. It was so insightful that I typed it down, and now it is included in the book. Here goes:

One of the troubles with men and their friendships is that you’ll see your friend and ask him about getting together for a specific thing – “Hey, want to go out and grab a beer for Monday Night Football?” Yet, if the guy can’t do it, “Can’t do it man, I have my daughter’s recital that night,” you say “OK, another time” and let it go – end of story.

There’s no follow up.

Look at it this way, if you were asking a girl you really liked out and said, “Hey, how about we go out Saturday night?” and she replies, “I’d love to go out with you, but I’m going away with my family this weekend.” You wouldn’t just let that drop – you’d be on that and say, “Well, what night next week works for you?” and nail it down.

The way I see it, friendships should be just as important as that, and they require follow-up. So, guys, don’t just float out a date for your bro time. Set a date, follow up with friends. Gotta put in the work to get the ball rolling.

She’s right. Friendships are that important, and require some work to get going. Amy’s words are also important for us because I bet she echoes the thoughts of lots of spouses out there who worry that we busy, involved dads don’t get enough social time. Not every wife is as awesome as Amy, but it is very likely your spouse would support your need for “guy time.”

What do you think about building time for dad friends? Any success stories or frustrations to share? Let’s discuss in the comments.

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Finally, if you have any ideas on how we can work together to spread the word about my book, I’d be really happy to talk to you. Email me at scottbehson @ gmail dot com.

6 thoughts on “Advice From My Wife: An Excerpt From The Working Dad’s Survival Guide

  1. Scott, Amy is so right on this. I’ll ask a buddy if he wants to get breakfast or something and if he can’t I’m like “OK, maybe another time” and that’s it. Needless to say, I haven’t seen him in months and I consider him one of my best friends. If I didn’t have a family, you know I’d be all over it trying to get some time, but it seems we always lower the priority.

    Can’t wait for the book to come out! Good luck!

  2. Agreed. Time with the boys is very important but often hard to nail down. Much like everything else it has to be an intentional choice!

  3. The book is coming out soon – exciting stuff! I have some dad friends, and we talk about the kids but it is rarely the focus of our conversation. It’s nice to have time with the guys. More would be nice.

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