Being a Present Parent: Q&A with Author Dr. Timothy Dukes

The Present Parent Handbook by Dr. Timothy Dukes
The Present Parent Handbook by Dr. Timothy Dukes

All of us want to connect with our children. With all the distractions from work and life, it can be hard to be a truly present parent. Dr. Timothy Dukes’ new book, The Present Parent Handbook, was written to help parents be more mindful in our interactions with our families. Tim was nice enough to answer a few questions for us. Enjoy!

I’ve heard the terms “quality time” and “quantity time” before, but before reading your book, had not considered the importance of “incidental time.” Can you briefly explain what you mean by incidental time and why it is so important for parents?

I am very fond of the reality of incidental time. I might define it as those moment that are not planned, they arise unexpectedly, and invite us into our child’s world or them into ours. Incidental is defined as “falling upon” or “happening to.” Incidental time fosters curiosity, serendipity, play, frolicking, resulting in a “felt-sense of knowing” by both the parent and the child. This “felt-sense” establishes the baseline of fundamental connection. Nothing is planned, duration is a secondary concern, and now in this moment, something unfolds between us that is abiding. Incidental time, holds context for life as is. Life that lives itself and in which, if we are present, we participate.

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Q&A with Author Joe DeProspero on the Pain and Humor of Fatherhood

JoeDJoe DeProspero is the author of “A Punch to the Groin: Painful Tales of Fatherhood.” I really enjoyed his honest and funny memoir of fatherhood. Joe was nice enough to answer a few questions about his book, the importance of self-care and the challenges of being a busy working dad of three.

Your book is really funny. And it also reveals pretty personal (and not always attractive) details. Did you have any concerns about writing so honestly? Did your wife?

Not really. Ever since I was a child, writing has been cathartic for me, a way to make sense of the thoughts swirling in my head, no matter how unflattering. I’ve found that my  readers connect more deeply with my writing that is intimate, so it’s mutually beneficial for me to be honest. Also, at this point, I have a fairly good sense of what my wife is comfortable with me putting out there. I’m the one who appears incompetent in the book, so I think she was fine with that.

My favorite chapter is “Keys to not favoring your first,” about our tendency to go overboard for our first kid and take a more relaxed approach with the second. Could you tell us about that chapter, and about how successful you’ve been at not playing favorites?

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Being a Successful Parentpreneur. Q&A with James Oliver

Parentpreneur James Oliver
Parentpreneur James Oliver

Through blogging, I’ve met so many friends, including today’s guest, James Oliver. James recently wrote a book about his experiences starting his own company while also being the at-home dad of two young children. His compelling personal story also contains great advice and encouragement for others who may want to become a parentpreneur.

Here’s a transcript of my Q&A with parentpreneur and author James Oliver about his book, his company WeMontage, and juggling entrepreneurship and parenthood.

  1. I love the title of your book: “The More You Hustle, The Luckier You Get: You CAN Be a Successful Parentpreneur.” Can you explain how this title inspires you and can help motivate us, too?

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Author Q&A with Clint Edwards on the Funny and Messy Sides of Fatherhood

I really enjoyed this book, and recommend it
I really enjoyed this book, and recommend it

Clint Edwards wrote This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, a really funny, honest and insightful memoir about fatherhood. As one reviewer said, “It will make you laugh. It will make you think. It will make you cry. Sometimes all three at the same time.”

Clint is a great writer and I think all of us will see ourselves in some aspect of this book. Clint was nice enough to answer a few questions about his book and the advice he has for working dads.

Your book is really funny, can you share one funny story from This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things?

Sure! Here is a list of stupid questions I received after having my third child and how I’d like to respond… If I wasn’t such a nice guy.

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Fatherhood and Empathy: Author Q&A with Torsten Klaus

Empathy and fatherhood. Torsten Klaus' very authentic and readable book of encouragement and advice.
Fatherhood and empathy. Torsten Klaus’ very authentic and readable book of encouragement and advice.

One of the cool things about publishing a book is that you get to become “book friends” with other authors in your field. A few weeks ago, Torsten Klaus and I exchanged books. I want to share some of the wisdom and perspective from his book, The Empathic Father, which I recommend. Here’s my Q&A with Torsten, focusing on his advice on fatherhood and empathy.

1. Your book covers a wide range of issues- birth plans, attachment parenting, sex after childbirth, child discipline, work-family balance, how couples argue, active listening, etc. The through-line is the importance of leading with empathy. Can you explain how empathy can influence how dads can handle such a wide range of parenting and marriage-related challenges?

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Author Q&A: Laura Vanderkam on Time Management

Time management expert Laura Vanderkan is the author of I Know How She Does It.
Time management expert Laura Vanderkam is the author of I Know How She Does It.

When I was doing research for a Harvard Business Review article on time management, I came across Laura Vanderkam’s work on the topic. She has since become one of my favorite authors. We corresponded on twitter, and it turns out that our most recent books were published on the very same day, just a few months ago.

Her book, “I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time,” is really great, and makes the case that many successful people are able to find enough time for both their careers and their family/personal lives. I wanted to share some of the wisdom from her book with you. Here’s my Q&A with best-selling author, Laura Vanderkam.

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4 Work-Family Stories From Fellow Dads

While Nick and I enjoy this summer day, four great writers discuss their work-family challenges.
While Nick and I enjoy this summer day, four great writers discuss their work-family challenges.

My favorite part of writing The Working Dad’s Survival Guide was speaking with a wide variety of dads about their lives, and then sharing their work-family stories.

Today, I’d like to share some of the excellent work of my fellow dad bloggers who recently wrote about how work-family balance plays out in their lives. These writers demonstrate that we all share the challenge of career success and involved fatherhood. Enjoy this round-up:

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Why I Support A Better Balance

I am proud to support A Better Balance by donating a portion of every sale of my book, The Working Dad’s Survival Guide, to this amazing legal advocacy organization that is leading the charge for more family-supportive workplace and social policy.

I am proud to support A Better Balance
I am proud to support A Better Balance

I asked Dina Bakst and Phoebe Taubman of A Better Balance to write a short summary of their work and have posted it here. Please consider joining me in supporting their important work.

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