A Little Help From My Friends: A Year of Awesome Guest Posts

Here’s a roundup of the guest posts featured at Fathers, Work and Family over the past year. Enjoy this incredible collection of fathers’ voices discussing work-family issues.

In blogging, just like in my college intramural softball days, I'm lucky to have surrounded myself with great friends
In blogging, just like in my college intramural softball days, I’m lucky to have surrounded myself with great friends

I Get By with a Little Help From My Friends

One of my goals in starting this blog was to build a community of busy, involved working dads who could share their experiences, insights, challenges and triumphs. In this way, we’d know that we are not alone in our work-family juggles, and that we could be sources of emotional and tangible support for each other.

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Coming Back to Work After Paternity Leave (UK version)

The use of paternity leave is still rare in the US, as taking time off work for family reasons is still frowned upon by many workplaces. Here is the story of one father from the UK, where fathers are legally entitled to a two-week paternity leave, who wrote about his experiences during leave and when he returned to work.

Guest blogger Jonathan Ervine of the Dad's the Way I Like It blog
Guest blogger Jonathan Ervine and son

A guest post by Jonathan Ervine. This article originally appeared at his great blog “Dads the way I like it” (uh-huh uh-huh I like it)

Here are three thoughts based on my own experiences of paternity leave:

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“Daddy, Are We Poor?”

How do you explain to a 5 year old boy that you can’t afford what his friends have because you’ve prioritized family time over financial rewards? Here’s one dad’s story. This is a guest post by Aaron Gouveia that originally appeared at his blog, DaddyFiles.com on July 8th, 2013.

Guest bloffer Aaron Gouveia of Daddyfiles.com
Guest blogger Aaron Gouveia of Daddyfiles.com

What good is a fancy car if you only drive it to the office and back? What’s the point of buying your kids all the best toys if you’re not there to play along with them? And what good is that huge house if you’re never home to dance with your wife in the kitchen or chase the kids around that gargantuan playroom?

“Dad, are we poor?”

The question itself doesn’t bother me one bit. It’s an honest and insightful question that comes from a place of innocence and genuine curiosity often inhabited by 5-year-olds. It was the anxiety-riddled expression he wore on his face, and the hint of fear buried just below the inflection in his voice that did me in.

I should’ve seen this coming.

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Finding Work-Life Balance Through Charitable Giving

How one man found purpose and better work-life balance when he discovered the importance of charitable giving. Here’s how we can make charity part of our work and our lives.

Sharing Experiences is a series of articles written by dads about their work-life experiences. These are shared in the hopes of generating conversation, sparking ideas, and letting dads know they are not alone in their work-family struggles. For more of these stories, click on the category link on the right-hand side of your screen.

A guest post by Noble McIntyre

Our guest blogger, Noble McIntyre, with his colleagues during his company's charity drive
Our guest blogger, Noble McIntyre, with his colleagues during his company’s charity food drive

Why Charitable Giving is Important

As we mature and develop our careers, the one resource we never seem to have enough of is time. As a personal injury attorney with a wife and three daughters, my days are frequently packed. Between commuting, handling clients, and attending my daughters’ various extracurricular activities, I have just enough time for my work and often just enough for my family — with very little left over.

A few years ago, I began to feel something was missing. My line of work frequently puts me in a position to help people who are injured and suffering, but taking law cases is not the same as giving selflessly to others. But with my work and family life already occupying so much of my time, how could I make more room for charitable giving? Organizing (or even attending) charity events would take time I simply didn’t have.

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Taking Turns to Balance Work and Family

“Sharing Experiences” is a series of posts in which a variety of dads, all in different work-family situations, share their experiences. I hope this series can forward the important conversations we have here, and spark ideas we can apply to our own lives.

Guest blogger, Erik Eddy and his wife Margie and son Jackson.
Guest blogger, Erik Eddy and his wife Margie and son Jackson.

Supporting Each Other’s Careers By Taking Turns

In kindergarten, we learn the importance of sharing and taking turns. Erik and Margie Eddy took this lesson and built a successful family life

By Erik Eddy, as told to Scott Behson

My wife, Margie, and I met in college, and got married the year she graduated. She decided to pursue a Masters degree in Higher Education from Bowling Green State University, so I tailed along and enrolled in their MBA program. We were young, in love and completely poor. Somehow, we managed to get by on a $9000 stipend and a $7500 student loan for the two years it took to complete our degrees.

When Margie finished her program, one of my business professors approached me about following her to the PhD program she was joining at SUNY Albany.  After talking it through with Margie, we went off to Albany where I pursued my PhD while Margie began her career as an Assistant Dean of Students at Smith College. At this point, she was working to support me as I continued my education.

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What I Learned From (Briefly) Losing My Job

“Sharing Experiences” is a series of posts in which a variety of dads, all in different work-family situations, share their experiences. I hope this series can forward the important conversations we have here, and spark ideas we can apply to our own lives. 

Back to Work

A guest post by Blake Friis. This article first appeared at Blake’s funny and poignant blog about fatherhood (and other things): Pureed Green Beans and Whiskey

Our guest blogger, Blake Friis, with his beautful family
Our guest blogger, Blake Friis, with his beautful family

Tomorrow morning I will go to work. Under normal circumstances there would be nothing special about that statement. But there was nothing normal about the circumstances under which I was fired three weeks ago.

I was driving home, an easy residential drive I count among the many perks of my job, when I received a call from one of our HR representatives. She asked if she had “caught me at a good time”. I would later find that an interesting lead-in when calling to fire someone. I told her I was driving home, and she insisted we speak when I got home because she doesn’t like distracting people as they drive. As the father of a 9 month-old, the car is actually the best place to secure my undivided attention, but she was adamant we speak after I arrived home. There is no “good time” to receive news someone refuses to share while you’re driving.

It is difficult to describe the feeling of being fired from the job you love, over the phone, 45 seconds before walking into the house. It leaves you with no time to digest the news, search for a silver lining, and contemplate the best way to break the news to your wife. Instead you are left to shuffle through the kitchen, into the living room where your wife is ready to hand you a smiling baby, and drool the words down the front of a button-down shirt about to hibernate in the closet until further notice.

I just…lost…my job.

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How Starting My Own Business Helped Me Balance Work and Family

“Sharing Experiences” is a series of posts in which a variety of dads, all in different work-family situations, share their experiences. I hope this series can forward the important conversations we have here, and spark ideas we can apply to our own lives. 

Making the Career Change at 40

A guest post by Brian Shields

Our guest blogger, Bian Shields, recently became an entrepreneur to better balance work and family
Our guest blogger, Bian Shields, recently became an entrepreneur to better balance work and family

Last year was a big year for me. I finally made the leap, I started my own full-time business.

I actually tried this 1 year earlier, but things didn’t go so well.  After a few months, I was offered a good job with a solid company near my home.  So I took the job, only to leave 10 months later.

So Why Did I Leave the Corporate World?

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Fatherhood vs. Work Related Stress

This is a guest post written by Theron Bostic, and it originally appeared on his excellent blog Active Duty Dad. Theron is active-duty US military and an involved father of three.

Our guest bogger, Theron Bostic, runs the great Active Duty Dads bog and is one of America's heroes.
Our guest bogger, Theron Bostic, runs the great Active Duty Dad blog and is one of America’s heroes.

FWF is focused on helping fathers balance work and family, but I can’t imagine a tougher challenge to achieving this than being in our armed services. Between long deployments, forced moves, intense training, stressful work, a workplace culture of duty and an employer to whom one can’t legally say no- this is an enormous challenge. I salute Theron both for his service and for his efforts in balancing work and family. Theron’s blog offers a great perspective and reminds us that military dads sacrifice far more than most, and are true heroes.

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